Is it you…

Cactus, thought pretty much conventional it may seem, always has been associated with negativity or same kind of bad omen if gifted on any occasion. I still find it hard to believe why creatures in this advanced technical world with science finding solutions to every possible question one has, still believe in such myths. Is it because of its appearance, its color, its anatomical features or what. I seriously bet on that. I always believe one has been created for some purpose and nothing is good or bad until we start evaluating it in terms of whats beneficial to us or not. As the laws of nature says, “Survivial of the fittest” is what cactus is all about. I seriously bet even the strongest wont be as developed as this particular invention of god’s is. These are the most unusual ones and hence wont find them in usual occurences. Adaptable to high arid and hot environments, they have developed themselves high time to conserve water - a source of energy. Expanded stems containing chlorophyll for life and growth. Cacti have also developed spines which allow less water to evaporate through transpiration by shading the plant, and defend the cactus against their enemies like water - seeking animals.

Coming to humans, you too find cacti who have developed themseles to survive the extreme conditions. Like in plants, humans too have shades of behaviour similsr to the spines of cacti that help them to defend themselves from the evil that surrounds them. “Survivial of the fittest” holds true even here. People are being crushed by pressure, stress, society, personal circles, unhealthy environments and so to survive in these conditions, a peculiar sort of behaviour starts surrounding the individaul. Like spines, we too start depicting irrational behaviour which prevents us from the unhealthy, predator like environment. Like cacti, humans too derive their energy from they have inside conserved over a perid of time. Where the normal ones give up, these get going. Like it is said, “When the going gets tough, the tough gets going”, so true a thought to be. Unusually they possess high tolerance power enough to make them survive. This is just a leaflet taken out from the similarities between the various forms of livings.

One Fine Day…

“What a bright Sunday morning it is today…”, I told myself. After so many days had I seen such a bright morning. Thought the day would be good. Just after getting over with normal morning routines, decided to have some breakfast. But as soon as I started to have it, I realized it tasted awful or was it simply my taste buds had gone bizarre as my parents seemed to enjoy it. Somehow I got over with it. Suddenly I recalled that even my toothpaste didn’t taste good few mins earlier. “Forget it….” was my first reaction. After getting over with my breakfast, decided to do some cleaning and dusting as I love doing that on holidays. Just when I picked up the cloth, the dust seemed as if I was caught in a sandstorm trying to get hold of myself, the sand blowing into my nostrils giving a nostalgic feeling. I kept asking myself, it isn’t the first time that I am doing this stuff, then why only today it seems so weird enough. “Forget it….”, was my first reaction and I decided to have a bath after I cleaned up my room and the house. After some cool showers thought of watching television or listen to some music. But to my utter surprise, the channels I used to prefer watching on Sundays seemed to have lost their charm or was it that I was lost somewhere. “Hmm…….Huh…..Hulloooooo………Is that supposed to be a holiday for me…” was my instant thought. Not even a single channel could grab my attention and I kept on switching from 1 channel to another. After utter dismay, I thought switching it off would be a better option. Nothing seems to go right for me since morning. “Lunch time…..”, was my ma’s call. “Yippee….”, was my thought. As I started to eat, at first it seemed delicious, but how long can my day that had been so far forget me. It, in a few seconds, caught up with me & bingo, my food got sour. I asked my mom to taste it and she exclaimed with surprise, “What is it in the food that you didn’t like. It tastes absolutely fine” Now that was a real shocker, rather a bouncer I would say because I had no clue from where did it come. Somehow I managed to finish it, but for the whole duration of my meal I kept thinking what’s going on with me, why is it that I am not able to appreciate anything good, why is it that I am avoiding situations. Huh….too much…was my call. I decided to give myself a sleep.

After a knap, but that too a disturbed one (subconsciously), I got up and decided (just decided) to study something related to my field. At least this would keep me occupied. Started off very well, covering few topics in no time. It seemed as if I was enjoying it. Few hours passed and suddenly my mind as usual involved in a tornado of ever-existing and ever-haunting thoughts distracted me and there you go, even the topics related to my field also seemed to disinterest me. This was what I call as height, simply height. But I could not blame anybody except my day that had been the same since morning. Wished this day was over soon. So went to market, did some household related shopping, seemingly disinterested in almost everything that passed by me, living or non-living, even the brand new black-colored sexy looking bike recently launched in market, standing in my neighbor didn’t seem to catch my attention as I rushed through my shopping. Came home, had some 2-3 bites in my dinner, cleaned up my room (in a unhappy mood), cleared kitchen, watched some songs & went off to sleep. “Voww….”, finally the day did end for me. But even the night sleep was a burden. Damn it, felt hungry but nothing in the kitchen. Had to contend with my daylong proceedings and went off air. The next day I woke up and I woke up with a very awkward feeling. Was it that I was dreaming or was it that I actually had such a kind of day. Had no clues to it and I seriously mean it, I had no clues whether it was my previous day or was it my last night dream????

The Unspoken..

Unspoken…lot can be said about this word. A lot if not said would be better. A lot can be inferred from this word as well. But what exactly is unspoken - I mean literally. Is it just like any another word? Is it combination of un-addressed issues? Is it a hardcore feeling? Is it an abstract thought? Is it a conscious hyper state of mind? Is it a mute appeal, a silent curse, a tongue less grief or unsounded words reverberating inside? Is it an expression best conveyed? Is a grief best left untouched? Is it the pain of a human, an animal or any living being?. Is it the gap left after all has been said and a lot still remains to be said? Is it an experience? Is that an answer readily sought after. Or rather a question? The word in itself is an ocean.

That’s only one side of it, the other side to say can be what is unspoken - the materialistic part. Is it guilt of an individual that he/she wants to confess but fears unacceptance or some sort of denial? Is it some sort of resentment against a particular “thing” that denies to come out. Is it anger within which cant make its way out again may be because of the fear of the individual being criticized for it or for the fear of being unaccepted by “the” people. Can it be a confession of a sin by an individual? Can it be an appraise for somebody left unexpressed merely due to the fact of being misinterpreted of having selfish motives. Can it be a criticism also left unsaid due to the fear of igniting hatred for himself/herself for the criticism? Well a very debatable point. It can very well be rebellion against an unlawful or uncalled for event but more of a suppressed one. Can it be just a “Thank You” for a friend who has helped the individual immensely but the individual hasn’t got a chance to say even a single word. Surveying into other domains, it can be lots of unexpressed words between a father and a son. Both want to say a lot to each other, both want to ask so may things but cant because of a jinx, a barrier. Same applies to a mother and a daughter. Is it an expression of achievement failing to find an audience to express? Is it an expression of a loss seeking a friend, a shoulder to share with? Is it a grief within, which wants to cry to let it out just to lower the suffering within? Why is it that a person is not able to give explanations to the other person for his actions that was not in the interest of the other? And why is it that the other person is not able to understand or comprehend the rationale behind the individual’s actions for the same two people sharing a strong bonding between the two. Many wont be able to identify themselves with what I said till now, but yeah they do identify themselves when I say that it is the distance between two people falling in love with each other but unable to confess to each other. The “unspoken” can be due to fear, hatred, shyness, self-denial, reluctance or any human emotion. But none-the-less, consequences are very devastating. It is this “unspoken” thing that keeps the distance growing within a relationship be it of any kind. It too can lead to misinterpretations between two people, leading to disruption of harmony in the relationship. How come people who are so close to each other, that they used to read the other without even a single word being said, after sometime don’t understand what the other person wants to say? Does understanding a person demand lots of expertise? Does understanding the feelings of a human what he/she wants to say requires a mind or something. No it just requires a “heart” that can listen passionately to the person. Even if the person is falling short of words or is finding no words, a heart would suffice enough to even hear the unspoken words if and only if the bonding is strong enough to do so. Well I have gone through many of these phases and as I already said I have failed to find an audience for me. I haven’t been able to convey to people what I feel for them and I wont be able to in near future. As predictable due to unspoken distances, I have lost some people whom I considered as my friends. But yes the positive part after going through many of these phases has been that I find myself capable and true enough while understanding others.

Yes the magnitude of “unspoken” can just be as small as a word and as big as a lifetime but one can limit this to as small as possible by just expressing himself/herself truly. The more the understanding between two people the merrier the relationship between the two can be.